Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Pants are for mortals
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize