i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize