I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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