sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I CAN MOONWALK!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
