We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
