I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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