man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
