Porn is love you can see.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
