dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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