I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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