So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
