that's an acceptable place to lick
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize