i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize