Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize