phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
