so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize