Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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