new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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