You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
