Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
How's work?
Spinning.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
