That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
