Plan B is the new Plan A
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
