In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
