this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I didn't notice because vodka
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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