Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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