is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
