What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
