Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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