Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
