Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
