so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
