Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I CAN MOONWALK!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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