Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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