Are we in a gay sports bar?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
