Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just found a bag of teeth...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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