Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
