Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm really busy with my period
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