She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
