my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
