I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
