Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
