tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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