hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
