Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I would ride that face into the sunset
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
