i'm signing you up for texting rehab
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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