If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize