I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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