and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
