There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
