It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize