he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
