She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize