I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
