I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize