Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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