So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
