I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize