Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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