Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
