she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize