so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
whose ass print is on the piano?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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