If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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