found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
