i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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