Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
