i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
